Imagine a coach who never attends games and instead “manages” by looking at a spreadsheet of player statistics twice a week. When he talks to a player, all he can say is “keep it up” or “your ppg is down, you need to score more.” Such an approach would be universally recognized as ineffective in sports, and yet it’s sold as a panacea of software engineering productivity in the world of Agile. It’s snake oil. It’s garbage.